Bright, Shining, New

"Always this rediculous obsession with LOVE", that is a quote from one of my favorite movies, Moulin Rouge. I feel that way from time to time, that I, like Christian, have an obsession with LOVE. Unlike like the sweet, fictional, bohemian poet I have been in LOVE. Twice. I feel lucky to have had it as many times as that, and hope that one day I can find someone and settle on them. Oh, and when I say that I was in LOVE twice I mean the romantic kind of LOVE, not the kind of LOVE I would give to my mother or close friend. Not that these LOVEs are any less of course, they are simply just a different kind.
I deal with loss in interesting ways, well at least I think so. Often when someone I have LOVEd is no longer in my life I blame them, and feel resentful, sometimes even hateful. But these feeling never last. My soul is not one that harbors these negative emotions for long, I am always forgiveing, both myself and anyone who has ever hurt me. It's just in my nature. It's why I'm writing this very blog in fact, because I have reached that point of the eiphany. I always have them and they are always good. I especially like this latest one, because it helps me deal with the pain of loss better than any past experiances. I finally realized that the pain I feel in my heart is there because I miss the people who have strayed away from me, but it is nessisary to feel that because the pain is just showing me what these people meant to me. It is the fingerprint they left on my soul, carving grooves that can never be filled, only worn down farther by those who will come after them. My soul is happy to have them. I will take with me the tiny pieces of those that I have LOVEd for the rest of my life. And thank goodness for that.
There are also some cases where a person must go, must leave for the better of you both. I have realized that and know that our lives will both be better, despite the hurt. It's okay to keep up with their twitter, or randomly check their myspace, just to see how they're doing. I think little things like that help keep you sane, let you that this person whom you have LOVEd so much is okay. (I'm glad you are the happiest happy in happyville, or something to that effect)